Tag Archives: overcome people pleasing

Self Love Is Sexy – Recovery from People Pleasing

I had a Master’s degree in people pleasing. I always had a demon on my shoulder ‘like me!  like me!  Like me!  Please!  Like me Please!”  I didn’t even know I did.  But it felt rotten.

I noticed I’d functioned from this contracted place when I was at the Denver airport, going to get my bags, going to an Access Consciousness Level 2 / 3 class in May.  It was so odd, but just having that awareness allowed for me to choose something different.   So, I had that people pleasing degree revoked this year. Self love is Sexy.

self love is sexy - recovery from people pleasingNow I’m playing the “I’m Hot Stuff!” game*.  People will leave you for it.  You’ve got to be willing to leave them behind.  Notice something though?  You have YOU.  And what better way to shine your light is there?

*To Play The “I Am Hot Stuff!” game.  3 steps are involved.  1) you are more willing to see yourself as the kind caring being you are.  If you don’t know what that looks like, think of a kind and caring person you know.  Now, see yourself through their eyes.  2) You can ask the Universe, “Show me the contribution I am being.”  3)  You are willing to loose self-judgement.  You are not trying to prove yourself.  You are willing to relax into the knowing of your Being.

Live Your Brilliance,

Victoria Christine

For more information and resources, please refer to Rehab for People Pleasers – 3 Tips to Overcome People Pleasing  Hear I share my story and awesome wealth of information

Article:  Self Love Is Sexy – Recovery from People Pleasing

Rehab for People Pleasers – 3 Tips to Overcome People Pleasing

Rehab for People Pleasers – 3 Tips to Overcome People Pleasing

My Story


As a recovering people pleaser, I really could go on all night as I have had a Master’s degree in people pleasing.  It was recently revoked.  I was walking through the airport, when, I observed myself NOT giving a damn what that elderly stranger couple may be thinking of me walking right by me. This was a marker for me.  Because, I had, before that point, been subconsciously ALWAYS asking “what do I need to do and be to get it right for you people??” A-L-W-A-Y-S.  I was desperate.

There’s something very addictive about people pleasing.  It’s a thought pattern and a habit that feels really, really good until it becomes desperate – Anne Hathaway

Now, I noticed something different.  I noticed that I did not have a Mega “LIKE ME!” sign on my shoulder anymore.  It was a Relief to notice that there seemed to be Space where there hadn’t been any for me present.  I was beginning to (*gasp)…notice, respect, like, and, stand up for me.

Now, to be honest, I am not miraculously There.  (Frankly, I don’t think there is a ‘there’ to be).  Yes.  Changing engrained patterns takes time.  It is a process.  Chances are, if you are in a body, it takes time to consistently and diligently Choose Different so that You can be happy and Have YOU in the equation of your life.  And, the cool thing is…  What if being there for you allows you to truly be there for others?

Are You a People Pleaser?

people pleaser

Are you caring?  Are you cooperative?  Are you a healer?  Do you have people’s best interest at heart?  Are you naturally helpful?   Have you said yes to any of these?  Great!  That can really contribute to both you and others!  However, At one point, if you live in mainstream society long enough, this means that you could be either an active or in recovery mode as a people pleaser.

Hear me in the video above as I share why it’s ok to leave the old behind and start choosing for you.  This might bring up some fears for you, I’m warning you.  Maybe you may stay in your modus operandi.  I am not saying you’ll end up leaving.  But.  You might.  You have to be prepared for anything.  When you start noticing the whispers of your soul for what feels right… What is next, for you.

3 Tips to Overcome People Pleasing

people pleaser tip

Remind yourself that you matter.  What could be one thing you can choose today that would honor who you Be (your Be-ing) in the world? What choice would contribute to having more of you today?  Could you go to a body movement class?  Could you practice Deep Breathing for 10 minutes alone, away from the kids?  Could you (*gasp) Sleep In?  Maybe it’s an even bigger choices.  Like asking yourself, “what kind of work would truly contribute to me and my well-being, on every level…even bring (*gasp) financial abundance?”

Learn to Say No for you.  This is key.  It gets easier with practice, I have found through my own experience.

TheGoldenReply

 I don’t have to prove anything to anyone.  I only have to follow my heart and concentrate on what I want to say to the world…I run my world.  Beyonce

Lastly, recognize that some people will drain you dry and use you, and some are even abusive.  They may even tell you they won’t bite through smiling clenched teeth.  Ask yourself “Is this person harmful?”  Then, TRUST YOUR  GUT. Recognize those rattlesnakes. And Don’t take rattle snakes home to bed with you.  Stop it.  Now. 

overcome people pleasing

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

What is one action you can take today to choose for you?  Share in the comments below.

Break The Mold – Be Wild. Be Free.

break the mold

 

Questions for you:
Status Quo? or Question / Challenge the Status Quo?
Pizza & a Movie? or Gâteau Breton aux Pommes, Champagne & Flash Mob Practice?
Big Trucks & Football? or Yoga & Hug and Talk with The Trees?
Big Box Retailer? or Local Handmade Produced?
Microsoft? or Apple?
Job? or Entrepreneur?
Hang out with Martha Stewart? or Ellen Degeneres?
Orthodox Church? Or “Do what I want Sunday?”
Methodical and Routine? or Creative multi-tasker with many projects going on at once?
Fit in? or Do you dare to misbehave?

Remember her? This Preschool Tap Dancer breaks the mold!

Preschooler Tap Dancer Breaks The Mold

What is all of this bringing up for you?
First of all, let me point out, that neither of these are wrong. What if they are Just different ways of being?
If you are anything like me, you really, really tried to make the first one work for you. when, all along, you were outside the box…not just a little, but, ALL THE WAY!
Hi I am Victoria. I am very weird. For a lot of my life, I have hid this fact. I thought it was my job to listen to and be controlled by authority. But, turns out, fessin’ up to that wee voice inside and starting to choose for me has so far been the best thing for me.
Chance are, You haven’t been acknowledged, let alone appreciated, for how different you are.
If you picked 2 or more of the later, chances are, you are a rule breaker, or you enjoy being outside the box. If you are like me, you secretly wish it was much, much, easier to choose to be incredibly wildly joyful…maybe even a noisemaker, when those around you are folding there arms and going along with the program.
What if you could have the joy and freedom and ease and fun of being way outside the box?

“How do I do that?,” you say.
Don’t Feel Badly. You tried to fit in so well. That’s just not cuttin’ it for you. This is why I’d like you to be on my telecall on Wednesday at 7pm.

Click here to receive your free Audio Visual Guide – Break The Mold

Are you ready to bust out of the box you’ve been confined in?

Are you ready to create a life you love?

On this telecall we will go over

√ How going beyond your comfort zone creates magic

√ What is beyond right and wrong

√ True Recovery from people pleasing

√ Why the word perfect should be eliminated from your vocabulary

√ Magic Making 101 – Trusting your awareness & Taking Action to create the life of your dreams

Would this contribute to you?

Click here to receive your free Audio Visual Guide – Break The Mold

“Here’s to the crazy ones, the misfits, the rebels, the troublemakers, the round pegs in the square holes… the ones who see things differently — they’re not fond of rules… You can quote them, disagree with them, glorify or vilify them, but the only thing you can’t do is ignore them because they change things… they push the human race forward, and while some may see them as the crazy ones, we see genius, because the ones who are crazy enough to think that they can change the world, are the ones who do.” Steve Jobs