Rehab for People Pleasers – 3 Tips to Overcome People Pleasing
As a recovering people pleaser, I really could go on all night as I have had a Master’s degree in people pleasing. It was recently revoked. I was walking through the airport, when, I observed myself NOT giving a damn what that elderly stranger couple may be thinking of me walking right by me. This was a marker for me. Because, I had, before that point, been subconsciously ALWAYS asking “what do I need to do and be to get it right for you people??” A-L-W-A-Y-S. I was desperate.
There’s something very addictive about people pleasing. It’s a thought pattern and a habit that feels really, really good until it becomes desperate – Anne Hathaway
Now, I noticed something different. I noticed that I did not have a Mega “LIKE ME!” sign on my shoulder anymore. It was a Relief to notice that there seemed to be Space where there hadn’t been any for me present. I was beginning to (*gasp)…notice, respect, like, and, stand up for me.
Now, to be honest, I am not miraculously There. (Frankly, I don’t think there is a ‘there’ to be). Yes. Changing engrained patterns takes time. It is a process. Chances are, if you are in a body, it takes time to consistently and diligently Choose Different so that You can be happy and Have YOU in the equation of your life. And, the cool thing is… What if being there for you allows you to truly be there for others?
Are You a People Pleaser?
Are you caring? Are you cooperative? Are you a healer? Do you have people’s best interest at heart? Are you naturally helpful? Have you said yes to any of these? Great! That can really contribute to both you and others! However, At one point, if you live in mainstream society long enough, this means that you could be either an active or in recovery mode as a people pleaser.
Hear me in the video above as I share why it’s ok to leave the old behind and start choosing for you. This might bring up some fears for you, I’m warning you. Maybe you may stay in your modus operandi. I am not saying you’ll end up leaving. But. You might. You have to be prepared for anything. When you start noticing the whispers of your soul for what feels right… What is next, for you.
3 Tips to Overcome People Pleasing
Remind yourself that you matter. What could be one thing you can choose today that would honor who you Be (your Be-ing) in the world? What choice would contribute to having more of you today? Could you go to a body movement class? Could you practice Deep Breathing for 10 minutes alone, away from the kids? Could you (*gasp) Sleep In? Maybe it’s an even bigger choices. Like asking yourself, “what kind of work would truly contribute to me and my well-being, on every level…even bring (*gasp) financial abundance?”
Learn to Say No for you. This is key. It gets easier with practice, I have found through my own experience.
I don’t have to prove anything to anyone. I only have to follow my heart and concentrate on what I want to say to the world…I run my world. Beyonce
Lastly, recognize that some people will drain you dry and use you, and some are even abusive. They may even tell you they won’t bite through smiling clenched teeth. Ask yourself “Is this person harmful?” Then, TRUST YOUR GUT. Recognize those rattlesnakes. And Don’t take rattle snakes home to bed with you. Stop it. Now.
What is one action you can take today to choose for you? Share in the comments below.